


Cold Heart of Winter

by sharkgriffin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Demons, Episode: s08e17 Goodbye Stranger, F/M, Flashbacks, Megstiel - Freeform, Mental Hospital, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-29
Updated: 2014-04-29
Packaged: 2018-01-20 03:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1495252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkgriffin/pseuds/sharkgriffin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Death was inevitable. Of course it was. She was a demon, a demon working against the King of Hell and with the Winchesters of all people. As a demon, that was pretty much the lowest you could sink to, especially with an angel at their sides.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cold Heart of Winter

Death was inevitable. Of course it was. She was a demon, a demon working against the King of Hell and with the Winchesters of all people. As a demon, that was pretty much the lowest you could sink to, especially with an angel at their sides. She had been preparing herself for death ever since she heard that the traitor bitch, Ruby had given them a demon killing knife and back then, she had made it her duty to stay out of their way, to do as Azazel had commanded her and gather the armies, ready for when their true father would arrive. But it was certain after she made a deal with Sam Winchester a few years ago. And, she was no longer scared. She had outlived Azazel, outlived Lilith, outlived the Apocalypse even, at least she would go down with a legacy. The one demon who could never stick to the rules.

She had a reason for not sticking to the rules. She had a hundred years on Earth, longer in Hell as they twisted her 'pure human soul' into a creature of complete darkness. And she had lived at the side of Azazel than Lucifer. She thought they needed her, she had thought they actually cared about her but demons don't have feelings. At least, they're not meant to. Now, she knew the truth. The second they were done with her, they would have disposed of her. To both of them, she was just another piece of dead meat. Completely worthless. She had a knew purpose in life now. To destroy the one piece on the chessboard that had been screwing with her for more years than she could count. And once that was done, she would finally be free. But there was more to her life now.

_May 14th, 2009_

The gathering of the demons in the room are talking in hushed voices. This is it, the Apocalypse. Lilith had told them this day would come. She was dead, Sam Winchester had killed her. Time was ticking away. Soon their father would be free. And then she feels a shudder through her body. A voice in the back of her head, loud, burning at her ears, but she is strong, stronger than these weak minded, newly made demons. She can understand.

_Daughter._

It was Lucifer. He was free. She never thought little Sammy would be able to do it. He would be too weak or too smart to fool for Lilith's plan. For months, she had wondered, they had all wondered if this was really going to happen.

_I am free._

Demons around the room held their meatsuits' hands over their ears but nothing could block out the sound.

_Soon I will be at full power. And then we can begin. Find my true vessel. And I will find you._

Lucifer's true vessel. The very person who had set him free. It was their destiny chosen by God himself apparently although why he would want to destroy the world he had created himself, she had no idea. She rose up, above the demons before her. She had a new vessel now, since the Winchesters almost exorcised her the last time, she had just been circling, not getting too attached. Now, she had a young, pretty, wannabe actress she had found in L.A. She seemed like a pretty smart girl and she had fought for her body back, like the original Meg Masters. Bad news for her.

"You heard what he said. Our father is free. This is the day we've been waiting for." She nodded to the select group of demons she had chosen for such a case as this. They were what you might call 'her elite team'. "Get to work, boys. Find the Winchesters."

_4th December 2009_

Carthage, Missouri. Thousands of disappearances of women, no clues at all to their whereabout. That was a week ago. And Meg knew exactly what had happened to them. Lucifer was here. So were his army of demons, at least half of them collected by her. She was lucky enough to have met him in person. Azazel had always told her she was special, she was different from the other demons. Lucifer told her the same. She was in the select few of his best. And now, she was here with him as he raised the angel of death. She sniffed at the air. It certainly smelt the part. Reapers stood in lines before her, showing themselves to any with stronger eyes than mortals as thin men in suits. Her father had wanted to make sure she was safe and given her five Hellhounds. Like she needed protecting. It would be helpful with Sam and Dean though. Slowly, the two brothers plus their two hunter friends approached her, completely oblivious to her standing there, right in front of them.

"Well this is great. We've been in town twenty minutes and lost the only angel up our sleeve."

"You think, uh, you think Lucifer got him?"

"I don't know what else to think."

Now was her time. It was strange to think now could be the time she killed them. She had never liked Dean, not since the moment she met him, that arrogant dick, of course treating her like she was just another hot girl. How wrong he had been.

"There you are."

Sam turned to face her and his face twisted into a snarl. "Meg."

"Shouldn't have come here, boys."

"Hell, I could say the same thing to you." He aimed the colt at her. This wasn't the first time she had seen it, although not the real thing. Back when both Azazel and John Winchester were still alive. Another of Azazel's sons had shot her with it. So lucky it had been a fake.

"Didn't come here alone, Deano." One of the Hellhounds at her feet splashed through a puddle. So unlucky they could not see them.

"Hellhounds?" he asked although he already knew the answer.

"Yeah Dean, your favorite. Come on boys. My father wants to see you."

"I think we'll pass, thanks."

"Your call. You can make this easy or you can make this really, really hard."

"When have you ever known us to make anything easy?"

She shook her head and grinned. She was going to enjoy this. Dean fired the colt at the Hellhound at her feet. Big mistake on his part. The hound growled and all five of them chased after the two Winchesters and the two Harvelles. She heard Dean yell "run" and then she was alone again. And then she heard Lucifer's voice in her head again. She had grown used to it by now. It caused her barely any pain now.

_Come to me, daughter. I need you._

She grinned again as shouts came from the distance. A female scream. Not Dean. Shame. That would have to wait a few months. And then she was in the small, dark warehouse room where her father was basing himself while he did his business here. He wasn't alone either. It was a man in a trenchcoat, a handsome man, with a suit with dark brown hair and blue eyes. And something underneath. She could see it, shimmering through the skin. He was trapped in a ring of fire, too. Holy fire. An angel. This had to be him. Castiel. The fallen angel, the rebel, whatever you preferred to call him. Rumors were, he had died and come back. It was impossible. Yet here he was, standing before her. She saw pure hatred cross his eyes.

"I got the Winchesters pinned down. For now at least. What should I do with them?"

"Leave them alone," Lucifer told her, calmly.

"I-I'm sorry, but are you sure? Shouldn't we_"

"Trust me, child. Everything happens for a reason." He stroked her face gently and looked into her eyes. She trusted him, he was her father after all. "Well Castiel, you have some time. Time to change your mind?"

Castiel scowled. It was funny, seeing such a magnificent creature in such a powerless state. You could almost call it cute.

"No? Daughter, keep an eye on him. I will be back for you later." He thought she would be able to do this? She would miss the raising of the angel of death but she knew what that entailed for the demons involved in the spell. He vanished and she stood alone. There was silence for a while, time where she found herself fantasizing about life, once all the humans were gone. He had shown them visions. It was all so beautiful. She leaned against the wall, smiling.

"You seem pleased."

"We're gonna win. Can you feel it? You cloud-hopping pansies lost the whole damn universe. Lucifer's gonna take over heaven. We're going to heaven, Clarence." She knew about human culture, however pointless some of it might be. But one she had enjoyed was had been 'It's A Wonderful Life.' It represented all demons were missing of human life.

Castiel looked confused for a moment, then continued. "Strange because I heard a different theory from a demon named Crowley."

Meg froze. Her smile vanished. The angel had met with Crowley. The Winchesters had met Crowley. And they were working with him. That dick. Always ruining everything for her, for everyone. "You don't know Crowley."

"He believes Lucifer is just using demons to achieve an end, and that, once he does, he'll destroy you all." 

"You're wrong. Lucifer is the father of our race. Our creator. Your god may be a deadbeat. Mine—mine walks the earth."

Suddenly, Castiel twisted his hand. She felt something make contact with her back. She was flying forwards. A scorching heat bit at her feet for less than a second and then she was in the ring of fire beside him. He grabbed her around the waist in steady hands, held one to her forehead. He was trying so hard, she could almost laugh. She smiled up at him, he was a good few feet taller than her human body.

"You can't gank demons, can you? You're cut off from the home office. So what can you do, you impotent sap?"

"I can do this." He leaned in slowly, as if about to kiss her and she felt a natural instinct inside her, close her eyes, pucker her lips. And then she fell, he pushed her, straight into the flames. And she howled. In any normal pain she wouldn't but this burned. The power of Heaven was never meant to come into contact with Hell. The fire tore at her clothes, her hair, her skin and she felt it rotting away, slower than it would for an ordinary human but still damage. He climbed over her and then he was gone. She climbed up from the floor with her muscles, weakened now. She shook the ash from the rags of her clothes. All that was left was the necklace she had taken to wearing. The protective symbols carved into the flesh was there too. But none of that mattered now. She had failed her father. The angel, she had underestimated him.

_19th May 1921_

The bar was filled with young men and women, ready for a night out of entertainment, of laughing with their friends as they drank alcohol and staring far too hard at the top half of the tightly fitted dresses the showgirls wore. The red haired women sat alone in a corner, shaking her glass so that the red wine knocked at the edges, while reapplying her dark lipstick. The man in the suit and red tie, fashionable for then, came and sat opposite her.

"A pleasure, Virginia. Or have you changed the name with the skin and country. Loving the new look by the way."

"Fantastic to see you too, Crowley. Are we going to play games or are we going to get straight to the point?"

"Love it when you talk to me like that, darling."

"Very funny." She reached for the pistol tucked into her handbag. It wouldn't kill him but at least it would cause him the pain he deserved. "You took three of my men this week."

"Do you care? You're a soulless creature, just like me. If you had a heart, it would be stone cold."

She shrugged as he poured himself a small glass of alcohol, his favorite drink. Truth was, they had been her friends, not close, but she had gotten fond of them. It seemed like every time she collected a new army to impress her father, they were gone within a few weeks. This batch had managed to stay six whole months.

"I can't afford for you to waste my time. I'm stronger than you, I could easily take you down."

"Oh, you're stronger than me are you?"

"Well, unlike you, I got out of Hell on my own. You only get to leave because you're signed to the Crossroads. What is it you want with them?"

He smiled. "A salesman's life is far too complicated for one as weak minded as yourself."

She stood up, pointing the gun at his forehead. "Don't make this hard. It's not gonna turn out well for you." A few people had turned around now, gasps of "she's got a gun!"

"See you in Hell," he said and then he vanished into a puff of red smoke.

_14th April2012_

"Clarence, time for meds." She gently opened the door to one of the many cells that the patients in the psychiatric hospital had to stay in. And then, she held it with her foot and wheeled her trolley in. Most of the others here got time at least to go to the play room or outside, meet the other nuts living here. But some, like Castiel, were too dangerous, they could quite easily injure one of the others.

Today, she found him huddled in a corner instead of in his usual spot in the middle of the bed. Normally he muttered, violently, sometimes punching out at the air but now, they were more like loud, angry groans. He was trying to speak, she knew but all words were unintelligible like something was stopping him, like his lungs were out of use. And what she saw in his blue eyes, it was pure fear, fixed on a spot in the middle of the wall. He was seeing Lucifer, she knew, although what her father could quite be doing to him to make him react like this, she had no idea. From what Dean had described, it sounded pretty awful when Sam had had it but now...

"Are you going to take them or not," she said in a calm voice and, as usual, no sign he could even see her. She sighed and took one of his pills. She held it against his lips and he sucked on the skin of her finger until it had been swallowed down his throat. By now, a subconscious part of him was familiar with his process. Would the medicine even work on an angel, she had no idea but then again, he did have a human body so should at least have some effect.

As she turned to leave, she felt a hand curl around hers. Cas'. And not even accidentally in the confusion of him trying to prevent his hallucination torturing him anymore. No, it grasped her hand tightly and squeezed once. She gently squeezed back. What was she doing? She was on the run from Crowley's men. They could kill her at any second. And Castiel could smite her where she stood. To be honest, she had grown fond of the little game between her and the Winchesters, even though they had been enemies up until just over a year ago. They did not trust her. And with good reason, She knew the famous tale of the Ruby and the 'stay away from my brother, bitch.' And that was all she was to Dean. Another demon bitch. To Sam, she was that one girl he used to kind of like but who then tried to kill his family and destroy the whole world. Best relationship ever. But she knew it was about Cas too. It had started as a small crush. A silly, human, girly crush. It had started pretty much when he threw her into that ring of fire. Not your typical turn on. A crush was just about acceptable in the demon world but only on another demon, not on a human and especially not on an angel. Maybe it was because he was the only person in either of her messed up lives who had showed he gave a crap about her. It had been a crush, even up until he had kissed her with no question at all but now it was something more. She tried to deny it but she knew one of her worst fears was coming true.

It happened later that day as she went to say goodnight to him before visiting hours were over and most nurses were going home. She would go to her tiny cupboard where she slept every night, staying here instead of moving around like she used to. That was before. She opened the door to his room and found him lying sprawled out on the bed in pretty much the most neutral position you could get with straight legs and arms by his side. Her first thought was that he was dead but then where was the blood? It took a lot to kill an angel, even one screwed in the head. Still, just to be sure, she checked his pulse, pressing her fingertips to his wrist. She could feel the beat below his skin, as steady as it could be. As a guess, this was most likely the effect of whatever crazy stuff was going on inside his haloed head. She would have to report this, both to the brothers and the staff here. They were already trying to figure out exactly who their John Doe was (they weren't getting more than a few moans out of him) and what had happened to their previous patient, Sam. Of course, she knew all that. Dean and Cas to the rescue and now off hunting monsters again, just like her. Never mind. She would call in the morning. She expected they would be happy to hear from her.

_20th March 2013_

She screamed. She screamed as her demon torturer dragged the knife down her vessel's cheek. It was not that it hurt. No. After nearly a year of this, constantly, she knew no different. But sometimes, rarely but still occasionally, they would let her off for the day with the information she had given if she had given any at all. That son of a bitch, Crowley, had put her through this, all this endless torture. He had dyed her hair blonde. Not that she had anything against blondes. In fact, her first meatsuit had been blonde. It just did not suit this particular meatsuit. She would have steamed out. They would have caught her eventually but maybe, just maybe, she could have bought herself a little time. Crowley had made certain that she could not escape though. Security at every door. Wards and symbols carved into her skin to keep her true form imprisoned within her flesh prison. Could not let go of his little toy.

Shouts came from outside, from under the door, and then a burst of light. The demon looked from her to the door and then ran, just leaving her lying there against the wall. His screams came, she recognized them instantly, and then a deep man's voice.

"Thanks for waiting."

Then another. "The hostage is in there." She knew that voice. Hell, she had not heard it in a year and it had belonged to a crazy, wild eyed lunatic ut it was still familiar inside her head. The light shone in as the door opened, first a crack and then fully.

"Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?" She grinned up at the shocked face of Dean Winchester.

"Meg?"

She had sometimes imagined them coming to her rescue. Not that she needed a knight in armor to save her from every situation. No, she was perfectly capable of doing that herself. But it would have been nice to know that the girl who looked after their best friend for months had not been forgotten. So she sat now, half an hour later in the same abandoned hotel room as she had been tortured in, while Castiel bandaged her wounds. She took a large swig of alcohol from her bottle and almost caught an eye roll from the angel. Being immortal, she did not need food or drink. But that did not mean she did not love the taste of the liquid slipping down her dry throat. She had not eaten or drank in months.

"You ever miss the Apocalypse?"

"No. Why would I miss the end of times?"

"I miss the simplicity. I was bad. You were good. Life was easier. Now it's all so messy. I'm kind of good, which sucks. And you're kind of bad-which is actually all manner of hot." She paused for a moment to think and then continued. "We survive this... I'm gonna order some pizza and we're gonna move some furniture around. You understand?"

"No, I_" He stared at her in confusion. "I-wait-actually... Yes, I_"

"All right. Let's roll campers." Dean appeared in the room behind them, alone with Sam. But Cas did not move. He stared into her eyes. And he smiled. And then, he finally got up to leave.

Meg smiled as she sprayed yet another warding symbol onto the ground of the parking lot. It shone bright red in the dark. Sam was recounting his sad, sad tale of love and loss to her. It was pretty much one of the lamest things she had ever heard. And yet, she knew that feeling all too well. She got him. She had spent a whole week inside his head, all he wanted was a normal life, she remembered that great darkness inside him. It was hard to forget something like that. And of course, he had spent nearly two hundred years in Hell, not as many as her but it must have been hard for a human to have to live through all that. She almost felt sorry for the poor kid. Dean and Cas had gone into the crypt to get the angel tablet. Why they needed it, she had no idea but she suspected it had something to do with that prophet of theirs if they still had him. At least it would be better in their hands than with the King of Hell.

"And then Dean sent me a fake text from Amelia. I mean that whole year in Purgatory. And he wanted to protect Benny, a friggin' vampire."

"Wait, h-hold on. There's one part I don't understand. You hit a dog and stopped. Why?"

Sam gave a sort of half laugh."That whole story, and that's your takeaway?"

"Oh, I heard the rest. You fell in love with a unicorn. It was beautiful, then sad, then sadder. I laughed, I cried, I puked in my mouth a little." For a moment, she almost stopped herself from carrying on. But Sam had trusted her enough to tell his story. Now it was her turn. "And honestly, I kind of get it."

Sam turned to stare at her, clearly quite surprised. "Really?"

She shrugged. And then a noise came from the distance. She picked it up, thanks to her 'super hearing.' And that smell. Sulfur. "We've got company." At that moment, demons ran straight at them. She could handle this, especially with Shrek on her side. As one attacked, she brought her angel sword down, Sam copying with his knife, a good present from his dear friend, Ruby. There were five of them. She wiped the blood from the blade as she pulled it from the last body. And then a voice came from behind them. With an English accent.

"I believe they're playing my song." A middle aged man stood there, dressed formally in a black suit. She saw right through that, to the demonic face below. "Love what you've done with the place. You really think all that was gonna keep me out forever?"

Sam stepped bravely forwards. "At least long enough for Dean and Cas to get the tablet and get out."

Crowley laughed. "Castiel. So, that's who's been poking my boy and not in a sexy way. Got a bone to pick with you, moose. After what you did to my poor dog."

"You gonna talk us to death or get down to it already?" Meg asked.

"There's my whore. I'm not here for my dearly departed, though. I'm here for the stone with the funny scribbles.

"That's not gonna happen," Sam said.

"Love it when you get all tough. Touches me right where my bathing suit goes." He pulled out his own angel blade.

Normally, she would have made some sarcastic comment. Normally but not right now. Now was not the time for this. Instead, she turned to look at Sam. "Go, save your brother. And my unicorn."

Sam took off, leaving her alone, opposite Crowley.

"Timon and Pumbaa tell you their big plan? Did they share that little chestnut with you? They mean to close the Gates of Hell, sweetheart. They mean to kill me and all the demons, you included."

Of course. That was why they needed all these tablets. They wanted to rid the world of evil for good or whatever. And surprisingly, she did not care. Because she wanted to sacrifice that for them. She would stay in Hell for millennia more, rotting with Crowley, just for this. So instead, she just smiled. "You had me at "kill you," Crowley."

He returned it by knocking her to the floor. She lay with her bloodstained face against the wet gravel. This was truly the end. She could feel it already. He was too strong for now with all these supporters while she was just a little rebel. All of her miserable existence, she had let people use her. Azazel and later Lucifer. Thinking she was special like Sam when really, she was an obedient soldier like Dean. But if she was going to die, she was going to die living for herself. A free demon. And then, she repented. She prayed silently under her breath with a mouth filled with blood and swollen lips. It was a strange sight, too. "Dear God, please forgive me for all my sins." His name did not sting in her throat. "For all those people I killed, all those lives I ruined, for Meg Masters, I'm sorry." And then she pushed herself up. This was it, no more running.

Crowley grabbed her jacket. "I could beat on you for eternity."

"Take all the time you want, you pig." And then she heard the keys to the impala jingle, the car doors slam. Sam and Dean but no angel. She would never see her unicorn again. But she did not react. "No Cas in the back seat. Your stone is long gone." Crowley turned to look and she saw her chance. She grabbed his blade, drove it down, it slipped and pushed right through his shoulder. He gasped in pain but then recovered and removed it, driving it into her heart. The last thing she saw was a look of horror on both Winchester's faces as she crumpled to the ground.

_March 21st 2013_

She sat up. She was in the parking lot. It was morning. Had it all been a dream. No, demons don't dream and her side throbbed. She felt her shirt and her hands came away sticky. The blood was in her blonde hair, stained on her clothes. It had been an angel blade. It would kill all demons, all humans instantly and most angels. Maybe she was dead. Maybe this was a special version of Heaven for demons. Well this was a crappy way to spend eternity. Yet, she felt so alive. As normal as she had felt the night before. So if she had not died then why? If she was not a demon then what could she be? Something more? A demon who felt? But now, her job was to stay away from the Winchesters and especially her angel. They could carry on with their tablet translating. No one could know.


End file.
